My husband and I are great movie lovers; we see any and every movie with any buzz at all leading up to Oscars season, and we try to see every movie with a nomination {our predictions then become this big competition...more on that later}. In order to do that, we need to see a movie a week at this time of year, and we normally designate our Friday nights to movie-going. For months, we had been anticipating the widespread release of an independent film called Spotlight. Starring Michael Keaton, Rachel McAdams, Liev Schreiber, and Mark Ruffalo, Spotlight chronicles the tale of the small news team at the Boston Globe who unearthed the deep-rooted scandal and long-time conspiracy of Roman Catholic priests and their molestation of children. Here's a preview:
As you can imagine, this is not the type of film from which you leave feeling anything but heavy sadness and gut-wrenching disgust. To imagine the sickness of these men's brains and the greed of those covering it up and the scarring of these children, is horrifying enough. But to imagine the spiritual devastation of devout Roman Catholics is heartbreaking, and to consider the impact of this publicity on casual church-goers or those who feel disenchanted with the church already is maddeningly painful for those of us devoted to church work and evangelism. There's a fantastic scene where the truth of it all seems to avalanche onto Mark Ruffalo's character. He admits that he does not attend church now, but as he says, "I always thought I would go back someday, back to my roots. Now, I can't go in there without feeling sick."
Abuse of power.
Manipulation of young people.
Misuse of authority.
Perversion of the image of the church.
This movie was an interesting {horrible...bizarre...disconcerting...humbling...inspiring} film choice for the same weekend that I was ordained as Teaching Elder (Minister of Word and Sacrament) in the PCUSA. To be taking on the yoke of ministry and considering the weight and abuse of such a ministry by so many at the same time is humbling and challenging.
Many years ago, I considered that I might be good at being a pastor. I always loved the Bible; I am a good writer, and I enjoy public speaking. That's all a pastor really does, right? {Ha. Funny.} As a junior in high school, I read the following Scripture:
Every high priest is selected from among men and is appointed to represent them in matters related to God...
No one takes this honor upon himself; he must be called by God, just as Aaron was.
Hebrews 5.1a, 4
This scripture compelled me to begin a 12 year journey of discernment. In fact, this is what my actual bible from that time looks like:
I've repeated this scripture for many years as I tried to discern God's call in my life, reminding myself that it was not about what I can do, but about what God is doing. As I prayed and reflected on Sunday morning, I of course went to this Scripture. My heart was filled with pain for the millions of people whose faith have been shaken not only by child molesting priests but by pastors who did not take their call to follow Jesus Christ seriously. Pastors who favored the rich and shamed the poor, who misused money and manipulated givers, who preached politics rather than love and glorified themselves instead of Christ. I feel both an overwhelming fear and inspiring hope as I consider the responsibility of being a Minister of Word and Sacrament. On Sunday, I spent a lot of time repeating the same phrase I charged our Confirmation class to repeat: "Yes, Lord; I will follow." Ordination is a surreal cycle of feeling hope and confidence, handing over self to God, and discerning God's work. I hope and pray that I can take this honor seriously and be a follower of Christ in this ministry.
Here are some photos from the ordination service:
{The questions}
{Presentation of my stole from a previous church by my mentor pastor, Don Ewing}
{Centering myself in Christ before benediction}
{Red is the color of ordination, but it was Christ the King Sunday. We decided to where our white stoles in honor of Christ the King Sunday, but I had to work in the red somewhere!}
It was a truly special day, made even more special by the presentation of a stole from my wonderful youth to me. It would seem that the youth placed all of their fingerprints on a hand-made stole for me, creating an invaluable gift that I will cherish always.
And so...the moral of the story...
I believe that stories like the one portrayed by Spotlight cast Christianity and the church into a shadow; people have difficulty seeing the truth of Jesus Christ when it is clouded by such a perverted and distorted image. It is heart-breaking to observe the terrible ways that evil distorts the Kingdom of Christ in the world. We can combat this distortion through the image of the church triumphant, through the witness to Christ's Kingdom in the world as we observe it in truth and love.
So there was all of this happening, and somewhere in the midst of the chaos, our youth managed to shop at Walmart for $1300 worth of gifts for the Angel Tree. This, to me, is the beautiful truth of the gospel. Students raising money for those whose Christmases might otherwise be less exciting, and purchasing those gifts with thought and care. It would be easy to buy a lot of really cheap gifts, or generic clothing, boring clearance toys...it would be easy to send our left-overs and unwanted items to those in need. But our youth spent time seeking the perfect gift, purchasing it, and wrapping it carefully. To me, this is the Kingdom of God in our world right now, this day. I see the Kingdom of God at work every time I get to spend time with theses amazing teenagers, and I cannot express my gratitude and humility as I seek to serve Christ alongside of them and all of the families here at Unity.
Praise be to Jesus Christ our Lord, who IS, and was and is to come.
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